PAYING ATTENTION TO OUR “SELF TALK”

If a recording was made of what we have said during the course of a day, I think many of us would be truly amazed.

What might be the most shocking things on the recording would NOT be what we have said about other people. The most distressing words could very well be what we have said about ourselves.

I think all too often many of us say things about ourselves that we would never say about another person. Let me give several examples:

—“Oh, I am so stupid.”

—“I am so unattractive.”

—“I am such a klutz.”

—“I am so unloveable.”

—“I am so much worse than even Rodney Dangerfield.”

The difficulty about such self-talk is that it matters— and it matters big time! The pioneers in Unity stressed that our “I am” statements are very important. They really “set the stage.” These negative statements about ourselves are like plaque which harden our arteries. It can even lead to metaphysical strokes— and all manner of physical illnesses.

How can the above be true, you might ask?

Well, in Unity we often recommend something called “affirmative prayer. Jesus taught us to pray this way. He said, “When you pray believe that you have received, and you will receive” (Mark 11:24).

I would add one codicil to this. Before we undertake affirmative prayer, make certain that what you are praying for will spiritually advance the world and you. Make certain this is something you believe God wants you to have. If the answer to these questions is “Yes,” then jump right into affirmative prayer.

Some people try affirmative prayer, but they don’t see positive results. Often this is because of their negative self-talk. They in effect have a “cancel cancel machine” inside of them. Their negative self-talk works to cancel out their prayers.

Here are some examples:

Prayer: Thank you for a new job.

Self talk: I am so stupid why would anybody hire me?

Result: The job goes to somebody else.

Prayer: Thank you for a mate.

Self talk: I am not attractive.

Result: We don’t find the person we desire.

There really is something to the Law of Attraction. Negative self-talk tends to generate negative results. As Buddha put it: “We are what we have thought.”

So here are some suggestions:

—Monitor your self-talk. Be aware of when you are saying unkind things about yourself.

—Replace the negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Remember: “With God all things are possible.” Negative self-talk can be turned around. Your ego probably can’t do it, but Spirit can!

—Get rid of your “cancel cancel machine.” The last thing in the world you need is something short-circuiting your affirmative prayers.

Karen Valentin

Recently, I read a short story, by Karen Valentin, that really brought home the above points. Karen is the author of a book entitled The Mother God Made Me to Be.

Karen writes that recently she bought replacement floor trim that in theory was designed to smoothly connect her kitchen floor to the hallway. “I measured the space, then cut the piece with my handsaw. Yet when I went to fit it in, I realized I purchased the wrong piece. It was expensive and there was no way I could return it now after I cut it in half,” she explained

She raised her arms and hands up in frustration and shouted: “I am such an idiot. “

Her young son, quickly responded by saying, “Mami, don’t call yourself that word. You’re not an idiot!”

“Okay, but I feel like an idiot… Nothing is ever easy for me,” Karen added.

“Things may not always be easy, Mami, but you always find a way,” her son said.  Karen believes her son may be very young, but she sees him as an “old soul.“

Karen concluded that the lesson from all this was that she needed to be more mindful about her negativity. She created a short prayer to help her in this process, and her prayer goes like this: “Lord, in those moments, when I am unkind to myself, help me to remember Your infinite love for me.”

Let me assure you that this monitoring and cleansing of our self-talk is an ongoing process. I think sometimes New Thought ministers talk as if they have black belts in the spiritual principles they are preaching about— like affirmative prayer and self-talk. But let me assure you that on many key spiritual principles, these ministers at best are only orange belts in the areas they are talking about.

As many of you know, my nine-year-old daughter, Therese, is studying karate at a very good dojo near our house. In karate you are first awarded your white belt. As you improve you earn a yellow belt. One step above this is an advanced yellow belt. One step higher than this is an orange belt.

I am very proud of my daughter who has worked her way up to an orange belt. But orange belts still are in the “beginner’s classes” at the dojo. So to say that a New Thought minister is an orange belt in the spiritual discipline of monitoring one’s self talk, it means that this preacher is still in the “beginner’s class”  and is a long way off from being a black belt.

Recently, I attended the Unity Eastern Region Conference. Our music director, Daniel Kepel, provided a good portion of the music for this conference. One of the leading speakers at the Eastern Region event was Rev. Jim Rosemergy.

Jim has been the senior minister at several key Unity churches and held high positions at Unity Village— our headquarters. Jim is also the author of several wonderful books, including Even Mystics Have to Pay Bills.

At the conference, Jim told a story that knocked me for a loop. His Florida church was facing some serious financial challenges. Jim said that during one of his prayer and meditation times he felt that Spirit told him to talk, express, teach, and live true prosperity principles. Jim said that his actions and self-talk did not always align itself with thoughts of abundance and blessing.  Jim monitored what he was doing, and saying. He made several significant changes. When he did this, the financial situation at his church turned around.

I was blown away by this revelation from Rev. Jim. I look at him as being a font of spiritual knowledge concerning prosperity and a lot of other things. But here was the great Rev. Jim— and many ministers besides me look up to Jim— and in effect, he was telling us that at this period of his life he hadn’t even earned an orange belt.

So, I think that it doesn’t matter if you have been in Unity for 50 days or 50 years. We all need to monitor our self-talk. Or as that great Unity song says, “Our thoughts are prayers, and we are always praying/ Our thoughts are prayers, take charge of what you’re saying.“