BUILDING A SMALL OASIS
Have you ever felt that you would never be left alone and people and circumstances would just continue to demand your time and attention?
You just needed a moment to rest and unfocus your eyes. It is not like you wanted to be a Himalayan hermit. It’s just that you were feeling as if you were in the New Years Eve Times Square crush with one million of your best friends, and there was not a single taxi cab in sight to whisk you away to freedom and quiet.
Next to you was a phone ringing with an unwanted spam message or there was a toddler who just went boom and they were screaming. It could be an unfolded wash that is winking at you, and it is demanding to be folded right now. Or it could be the inability — for so many reasons— to stand up and set reasonable boundaries around self-care.
At these times the dreams of an oasis for peace and quiet can float through our minds. The idea of becoming a Himalayan hermit even starts being attractive for a few moments.
Vicki Kuyper recently experienced such a situation. Vicki is a noted spiritual writer and commentator. Her book —A Tale of Two Biddies— highlights her wonderful sense of humor, and the book 101 Amazing Things God Thinks About You shows her sage wisdom.
At one time Vicki’s home felt like a retreat center. But then she started watching her three granddaughters. “Now, my closet doors have been slammed off their hinges, there’s macaroni and cheese ground into my dining room carpet, and the neck of my No Drama Lama (a stuffed animal who resides in my bedroom) has been almost twisted completely off,” she writes.
With Vicki’s granddaughters in tow, her retreat center now looks like a fraternity house after party night. She knew that she badly needed an oasis where she could recenter and regroup. But she had very limited space in which to realize her oasis.
“I thought of the tiny balcony off my bedroom. Sure, it overlooks six lanes of traffic and is covered in snow for portions of the year— but, so far, it’s remain untouched by tiny fingers,” she explains.
Vicki found a brightly patterned outdoor rug and a lounge chair, the color of a tropical sea. “My oasis was open for business,” she reports. While the older granddaughters are in school and the younger one is napping, Vicki sets up the baby monitor, sits in the sunshine, and reads books and prays.
“When it’s chilly, I wrap myself up in a blanket like a proverbial burrito. After a few minutes, I no longer hear the buzz of the traffic below. All I noticed is the sun and the azure sky. As my heart and mind grow quiet, I can hear God’s voice above the din of life once more,” she adds.
Vicki even wrote a short little prayer to remember her oasis. She asks Spirit to “remind me to take time out when I need it and seek little respites of peace to help quiet my heart and soul.”
I was touched by Vicki’s little story for several reasons:
—First, Vicki was able to explain her situation with more than a touch of humor. Spiritual faith is so important. However, I think it is even more effective and sweet when we can combine it with some humor.
—Second, Vicki was quickly able to identify the source of her problem. The need for self-care, peace, and recentering is a top priority, I believe. I am so struck that the Gospels demonstrate that Jesus put this need near the top of his To Do list. Jesus— as it were— made certain that he put his oxygen mask on himself first. Then he was in great shape to help others. We read that Jesus so often went off to pray and meditate (and like Vicki I bet that he also read books).
—Third, Vicki did create an oasis for herself, and she was able to build it with only a few resources.
—Fourth, Vicki integrated her oasis into a life which remained true to her responsibilities— and joys— with her grandchildren.
To create an oasis we may not have to carve out a physical space. The important thing is that we build a state on a consciousness that realizes we are worthy of such centers of peace. It is important to realize that we can have a beautiful and effective oasis, even if it is on a small balcony overlooking a six lane highway.
