I’LL HAVE A BLUE CHRISTMAS

The radio is blasting: “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

Burl Ives is singing, “Have a holly jolly Christmas!” And Chuck Barry is crooning, “Run, run Rudolph.”

“Silver bells, silver bells. It’s Christmas time in the city,” Mitch Miller’s sing-along chorus tells us.

And yet, Joni Mitchell wrote and sang a different tune:

“It’s coming up on Christmas and

they’re chopping down the trees.

Putting up tinsel

And singing songs with joy and peace.

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate-away on.”

Meanwhile, the King— Elvis— was even blunter:

“ I’ll have a blue Christmas without you!”

For many, this is far from the most wonderful time of the year. In fact, it is a painful eyesore and reminder of so much loss, regret, and sadness.

In my old home church, Unity of Fairfax, we would hold a special service at this time of the year. It was the “Blue Christmas Service.” But this well-attended time of worship and fellowship was not just for people who felt down at this time of year. It was also for those who felt love, joy, and peace during these weeks of Advent.

And so I ask both those who are hurting and those who are full of Christmas joy to read on. Recently I came upon this post written by Pablo Diaz, who is a Vice President at Guideposts Ministries. Guideposts was founded by the late Reverend Dr. Norman, Vincent, Peale, and his wife, Ruth.

Pablo notes that “depression affects people from all walks of life no matter their background. Sometimes people we least expect find themselves battling depression.”

Pablo learned that a good friend of his was in a very dark place during this part of the Fall season. “I wanted to be present for him. I wasn’t sure how to help him in his time of need, and I didn’t want to make things worse by trying to remind him of better days. Yet I decided to move in the direction of caring rather than worrying about what I might say or do wrong,” he noted.

When Pablo called, his friend was delighted to hear from him. His friend said that the worst thing was getting up in the morning to face another day. Coming into the Christmas season, Pablo’s friend of been through a divorce, lost his parents, and faced tough economic times. His friend said that the depression he was feeling was the worst wave of emotions he had ever faced in his life.

“The more we talked, the more I sensed his faith, and hope, even in the midst of this dark time in his life. Sessions with the therapist and antidepressant medications were helping him to feel better. Daily prayers and reminding himself of all the good things in his life offered spiritual strength. At the end of our talk on the phone, we prayed together and every call there after. These days he is in a much better place, and our friendship is stronger,” Pablo notes.

Pablo has added a new prayer to his morning “quiet time.” This short prayer goes like this: “Lord, teach us how to care for our friends in their darkest days.” That is surely a prayer I can heartily say Amen to.

I am so blessed to be able to do Spiritual Direction with Rev. Robert Brumet. Rev. Robert is the author of many wonderful books, and his most famous one is probably FINDING YOURSELF IN TRANSITION. He was also one of the best professors I had at Unity Institute and Seminary. Many people think of Rev. Robert as being sort of like the Yoda of the Unity movement.

I remember that many times Rev. Robert would tell us that the most important thing we can do for a person who is feeling down or going through a loss is NOT to try to pump them full of spiritual platitudes. Rev. Robert would look at us and say, “The most important thing you can do is just be a loving presence. Help the person feel that they are not going through this thing  alone.”

This Advent season, there are many people who are going through a blue Christmas. Be a loving presence. That is the most important present you can give them. And it doesn’t have to be done by grand gestures. Often it is the little things that count the most.

To those who are hurting, be open to the Pablos of the world when they call you. As Abraham and Sarah in the Bible discovered, you never know when you are entertaining angels (See Genesis 18 and Hebrews 13:2).

So…..

Happy Christmas to all,

And to all a goodnight!