HAIL, HAIL, THE GANGS ALL HERE: GULP!!
This is hard to admit to, but I do have a very introverted side.
For some reason, I don’t feel any tensions, standing up in front of a congregation on Sundays and speaking. Nor was I overwhelmed with fear when I was giving television and radio interviews for United Way.
But put me in a cocktail party, where there are small groups of maybe four or five people, and everybody is expected to make “small talk,” etc., and I often feel very awkward and uncomfortable. I bet you I’m not alone about feeling this way.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do feel a little bit of “stage fright” before the start of the service on Sundays. But I’ve come to the conclusion that a little “stage fright” is a good thing. It concentrates the mind and makes you not take things for granted.
The times when I have felt that something will be a “slam dunk,” what usually happens is that I am the one who is slam dunked through the basket. That is why I believe a little touch of “stage fright” is beneficial.
The problem is that in the cocktail party or small social occasions this fear can sometimes be almost overwhelming for me. This is not a good trait for a minister and many other people in different positions. Speaking with people before the service, and getting to know people better during the social hour following the service, are very important parts of ministry. In fact, they can be more important than the sermon delivered during the service.
But I have found that there are ways of conquering these fears. And so I boldly say, “INTROVERTS OF THE WORLD, UNITE. WE ONLY HAVE YOUR FEAR TO LOSE!”
We introverts don’t have to avoid cocktail parties, or run out the door to the parking lot at the end of Sunday services! There is a better way.
Erin Janso
Given the above, I was really touched to read something by the author, Erin Janso. Erin had recently moved from the “lower 48 states” of the Union to Fairbanks, Alaska. She was in a bright, rehearsal room filled up with the Fairbanks Community Band.
The band was playing a light bouncy tune, and Erin— for some reason— took out her phone and started to take pictures of the instrumentalists. Mind you, shy Erin had only come to the rehearsal room to check out the band. She was thinking that she might someday ask to join the group. The reality was that she had not played her trumpet for many years.
“I was looking out at a room full of strangers. I didn’t know a single person there. Not at all. I absolutely wasn’t one to bravely walk up to someone I didn’t know, let alone an entire group. It felt impossible,” Erin explained.
However, she now realizes – – years later – – that there are several ways of looking at these pictures she took that day. She could look at them as she did back then, which in essence was being frightened by strangers, and feeling really nervous.
But she could also look at the pictures now and sees “the familiar backs of my friends. I didn’t need to see their faces to know who they are. They are people who were about to become my teachers, my encouragers, my friends. We were going to play music together and also share meals, frozen pipes, broken cars, tools, stories, laughs, lessons, and more. I just didn’t know any of that then. But God did, and now I do too. I’m so very glad,” Erin affirms.
Erin has a prayer for all this: “Sometimes, God, the blessings You have planned for my life feels scary at first. But those that I can’t imagine for myself often turn out to be the most beautiful of all. Thank you.”
I wish I could tell you that these introversion fears never pop up in my psyche. But that is not the case. However, let me share with you several things that have really worked for me in overcoming these fears:
First, I remind myself that these situations are sometimes like getting an old “standard clutch” car into gear and actually running. The initial “push” may be hard. But the motor soon kicks in, and the car is often running. In other words, the initial introversion fear usually leaves me after I make the initial “push” and get into the swing of things.
Second, I have found it very useful to use affirmations and denials— I.e. Unity 101– in these situations. For me, one of the most powerful affirmations is something that the apostle Paul wrote: “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Believe it or not, this mantra really works in these situations.
Third, another affirmation and denial that seems to do the trick – – for me – – in these situations also was said by Paul: “But God did not give us a spirit of fear. He gave us the spirit of power, love, and a good mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
If you have a similar introverted side, I urge you not to run out of the door of the church after the service is over, or skip parties because of fear, or not join bands even if you haven’t played your instrument in years. Erin is so grateful that she overcame her fears.
Please try the above three suggestions. Let me also make a fourth suggestion: Call, text, or meet with me. I really do love talking with fellow introverts. My phone and text number is: 571. 215. 9481.
